Search This Blog

Monday, October 24, 2011

Cruel and Unreasonable Punishment!

Ah yes.
The day after!
Seriously though, I have to say they are getting much better.  It helps having mom along. I mean it's NICE having mom along!  Yea, Yea....that's it!  We once again braved the mall.  Mom was on the search for Twilight goodies, so we made a day of it!  Only a few minor hiccups.  Like when I dropped Logan on moms toe. 
Don't ask.
But learn from me, NO rough housing in the food court!
The Cruel part.  Well just what sick sadistic bastard had the bright idea of putting a scale outside the bathrooms.  And ONLY a scale.  You're sitting there waiting for the women folk to finish up in the potty, and for the boys to get bored with the neat new hand blow dryers (although we usually have to drag them away) and you have nothing to do.  Well here's a nifty brightly lit machination with promises of riches (your "lucky" numbers) and foretelling the future!  All you have to do is stand on it, put in a quarter and it will reveal, to you the secrets of the universe! 
And your weight.
OK!  For the record.  My wife and I quit smoking.  Her in January of this year, me in February.  And we have been VERY good.  Haven't slipped up ONCE! (thank you, thank you.)
We have, of course, naturally had to supplement our cravings with the next best thing.
When I quit I weighed in at 178.  According to  "Maqui De Sade" I now tip the scales at a whopping....
To anyone doing the math that's 58.1 pounds gained!  More then a 32% weight gain!
So...effective immediately...I'm on a diet!  And as soon as I can get the part for my Puch, I am SO back on the road!  IN SPADES!
on to the Unreasonable.
In the Westfield mall, the one we frequent, they have a real nice play area laid out for the kiddos on the first floor.  it's the main reason we go, to let them get some exercise, and socialize with kids their own age as the dutiful parents sit along the periphery keeping them in check.  Well, as Mom and the older boys checked out the hip stores I happily sat and watched the other four romp and play.  I'll give them credit they play all right and have NO problem being social. Of course Rozy is the Social administrator and has the uncanny ability to take control of the situation and bend all to her will.  Makes me more then proud to see her organize a whole gaggle of little girls into organized play.  Logan is sweet, and plays with just about any, and as he has strong paternal instincts, gravitates to the younger ones to help them.  Paying close attention to Izzy.  Izzy was a hoot as she discovered the magic of stairs!  And developed a unique drop and slide approach to getting down them.
Owen....well he gravitates to those of equal levels of hyperactivity.  In this case it was a young boy, roughly his age who had been visiting the area to attend his grandmothers 90th birthday.  And according to his father none of his cousins or siblings had brought there children, so this little 8 year old ball of energy had been forcibly subdued for nearly a week.  So you can imagine the level of energy he was trying to exhaust.  Well, at one point, I had to change Izzy's diaper and the changing room was a ways away.  I called Momma to send me one of the boys so i could do this.  Shortly thereafter Kaleb came back to relieve me and watch the other three.  Well, as you can imagine in a mall FILLED with Mall going teeny bopper girls of roughly his age, his attention was....elsewhere.  It was apparently at this time that Owen and his new friend decided to have a foot fight.  You know, you sit on the floor, arms behind you, feet against your opponents and you push seeing how far you can move your opponent. Harmless fun.  The other boys father thought nothing of it.
There is always that ONE parent (no offense to any of the more unrealistic parents out there) You know the type.  Nose firmly struck at a 45 degree angle towards the sky.  Dressed impeccably in the latest fashions, sitting upright and prim.  As there "Little Darling" is timidly (trying) to have fun, decked out in the latest "Baby Gap" Fashions, but being all to aware of their mom's disapproving glare as if to say "don't you DARE get that outfit even WRINKLED!"   Well apparently she didn't approve of any of the other children doing dangerous things like running, or jumping, or yelling, or climbing, or know, dangerous stuff that may scuff up her hermetically sealed child.  Sadly, the foot fight (although a distance away from her little darling) was the last straw.  Utilizing her cell phone she contacting Mall security.
Unbeknownst to me, and apparently several other parent there is a wooden sea horse at the entrance to the play place.  I had always thought it was decoration, however apparently it is a size marker denoting 3'6" being the height maximum to enter.  And  though upon securities arrival the foot fight was long over and kids were just being kids again, the "Mom" pointed out that several children happily playing were in excess of the limit.  All mine (save Izzy) included.  So these evil doing heathen children were asked to leave by the heroic Nazi Mall Cops.  Much to the delight of the High Maintenance Matriarch.
God Save The Queen! I would hate to be responsible for the therapy bills for that poor child when she gets older.
Even though that was a downer (and Owen used language although inappropriate, and duly chastised pretty much summed up what I was thinking as well) Mom (who ALSO used language that was inappropriate and duly chastised (no..not to her face) not to mention threats of retribution violence being uttered) took them all to FYE and treated them to a toy of their choice thus saving the day. 
Warning.  DO NOT cause this woman's children discomfort, pain or sadness.  She's Irish. *shudder*
In the end, all things considered it was a real good day.
Back at the ranch!
Justin had a relatively busy day.  Sold the body Glove cruiser.  Thanks to John for giving her a new home!  Also had quite a bit of re-pairs coming in, THANKS so much!  And one in particular mad my heart skip a bit and a momentary gleam of "is that OURS?!"  But sadly no.  She's in for some work, but oh!  I would love to give this little gem full work up!  I'm talking museum piece!  Early 70's Schwinn Stingray chopper!  Complete with front drum brakes and "On the column" 5 speed suicide shifter!!!  Schwinn approved speedometer!  He even has the original MANUAL!!! heart!
I won't even insult the moment by mentioning how much these things go for!  Google it!
Enough of that. I had better get my day moving.  FINALLY starting that old school Hard Rock I've had kicking around in a bucket, then hopefully go on to the other half done projects littering the Dungeon!
It's a real nice day out today!  Come on by and say HI!

No comments:

Post a Comment