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Saturday, May 24, 2014

Um...why didn't anyone tell me Summer Vacation was coming up?

Yea.  That sneaking realization that comes over you every year about this time, that very soon, the kiddo's will be free of the constraints of school and in your hair every single day for two months.  Well, not in my hair, but in Angela's.  However the cascading effect, as crap runs down hill, you can rest assured that I WILL hear about all transgressions perpetuated by each squabbling child battling tooth and nail over proprietary rights in regards to Lego's, seating positions or privacy rights, just to name a few.  Of course Elijah and Kaleb will most assuredly be accompanying me to work each day, thusly allowing NO respite from the daily, agonizing chore of trying to rouse them from bed.  A task, which inevitably, due to the tenor and increasing volume of my voice, results in the inadvertent awaking of everyone else in the house.
Thankfully, Angela, having become aware of the impending onslaught, has been doing some online research for low cost activities designed to keep them occupied in both enjoyable and educational pursuits!  Yes, I'll gladly shell out a few dollars each day, to ensure her retaining her sanity!
On to movie reviews!
Yes, last night was family movie night, and in lieu of any good "family" orientated flicks, we went with action, and snagged up a copy of "I, Frankenstein"
In a word "thoroughly disappointing". 
Headlined by Arron Eckhart and Bill Nye I had hopes that, even given it's somewhat outlandish premise, perhaps they could pull it off.  Nope.  See I like Eckhart, and feel he is a truly gifted actor, but in this flick I just felt bad for him!  And oddly enough, when you watch his performance, you get the sneaking suspicion that he knows the product was crap.  It was almost as if, he had signed up for something different, and they threw him a curve ball, and he didn't like it but was contractually obligated to "sell it".  The film is a weak premise, portraying Frankenstein as a Demon hunter, somewhat in cahoots with Gargoyles, who for some reason I cannot understand are divine protectors created by God to protect humanity?  Wait...isn't that an Angels job?  The films beginning gives a "wrap up" of the premise of Shelly's original creation then shows the monster as it burying it's creator, at which point the demons show up to capture the creature.  Then the Gargoyles show up to destroy the Demons and whisk Frankie away to meet the Gargoyle Empress (as they are held up in a big honking Gothic cathedral in Paris). 
Blah, blah, blah.
 Frankie decides he wants to go it lone, then the film brings us up 200 years into the present day, and "Adam" is still at it.
Seems Adam is the key for the head Demon to create an army of fallen demons out of long dead human corpses, by using the same process that created him, to reanimate them (now soulless) so the demons can wage war on all humanity!
Did you follow that?  Yea, me neither. 
The whole thing is framed, directed and executed with such stale and well worn action cliche's and rhetoric, overly dramatic dialog and pass√©', predictable catch phrases that the viewer KNOWS what's going to happen long before it does! 
And what would be the harm in retaining some of the original concepts put forth by Shelly in her original masterpiece other then the image of the lone, lumbering creature?  I mean, they never get the look right as so eloquently described in the original script, of an opaque, black haired monstrosity.  And maybe I need to go back and re-read the book, but to my knowledge, at no point did Dr. Frankenstein use electricity to reanimate his creature.  No, that was a 20th century cinematic creation, depicted with a laboratory cluttered with Tesla coils.   The original called for alchemy and medical science.   But I'm no literary genius so maybe I missed that part.  Again, the original was not so much an emphasis of science but of the meaning of humanity. 
In the end, this was just another poorly conceived adaptation, and re imaging of a classic that has never been paid it due respect cinematically.
All right, I best get at it, as we are starting to get backed up!
See ya!

1 comment:

  1. After "Young Frankenstein" (Ok, yeah, FraHnkenstEEn) I can't imagine how anyone would think they could do better.Why bother?

    And inexpensive summer acitivities for the whole family? Lemme spell it out fer ya:


    You're welcome.