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Saturday, October 18, 2014

OH....It's Been A While!

Yes, it has been quite some time but it is definitely high time for a good old fashioned "Old Codger" rant! 
Oh, believe me, there has been SO much going on the last few months I could fill the Internet with sounds of my indignation, frustration and rage (but it will only serve to get me in MORE trouble, so I choke back on the huge lump of righteous bile, grin and say "no problem" just to keep trudging) but today I figured out something I could bitch about without TOO much fear of violent backlash!
Cell phones, I phones, LG's and the like, not to mention the whole wonderful world of all the distractions afforded by instant access to the Internet.
Ever try and talk to a kid while they are immersed in You Tube, some new game or a burning text conversation?
Ever try and carry on a conversation with a significant other having one ear bud in (the ear closet to you of course) while simultaneously listening to Pandora while reading the latest inane banter on Facebook?
Then of course, as you are prone to engage in conversation in "Real Time", face to know...CONVERSATION, when two (or more) people...REAL people, sit in a "SOCIAL SITUATION" and ACTUALLY TALK TO ONE ANOTHER, and you are attempting to do so, and as their eyes NEVER leave the tiny screen, they give you that half hearted, dismissive, ineffectual, noncommittal "un huh" and maybe they glance at you for the BRIEFEST of half seconds before returning the entirety of their attention BACK to the little screen.  THEN,  hours or days later you refer BACK to the conversation, that you FOOLISHLY thought had some importance and they were ACTUALLY paying attention to, and they look at you as if you were, at that moment, sprouting another head, and emphatically state "YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT!!!"
Or you have to engage in a battle of will's (that you either turn red face or eventually just give up) with a child, attempting to get them to perform some menial chore they themselves are responsible for but as they are SO engrossed in the latest lame "prankster" video on you tube, you first have to send out a continuous barrage of their name at an  increasingly higher volume each time until FINALLY, after eight or nine times, and your throat is INCREDIBLY hoarse from yelling, they look up at you and go "....yea" and once you inform them of their obligations, they ignore you, and then after the third chorus of their name they, with a flourish of righteous indignation, they huff "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING!?!?!"
And the REAL sad reality is, almost everyone I know has a cellphone PERMANENTLY attached to their hands from the moment they wake up in the morning to well past the time they go to sleep.  Yes, it's "Linus's New Security Blanket"  Lovingly cradled on their beds, for a quick easy fix, but TRY and CALL them on them!?  FORGET IT!!!  ANYTIME I try and reach someone I have to call half a dozen times, usually taking roughly 1-3 hours to get through!!! 
OH YEA.  Welcome to my world!  My most earnest wish is that some master hacker would devise the most insidious of viruses that would quickly and irrevocably wipe out ALL of the Internet!  I envision a scene from "Dawn of the Dead" where every drone and slave of technology comes staggering out of their self imposed isolation, blinks in the sunlight, looks at all the other sad, pathetic victims of technoHell, and says....who are these strange humanoid creatures?  Then each one meanders about wondering how they can "Update Their Status" without the digital screen! 
Would be interesting to see how these wretched, brain dead creatures actually would survive having to communicate with their mouths! 
SOOO!  Never think me rude or inconsiderate, but if anyone comes near me with headphones in or cradling a cell phone in their hands lovingly...I ignore them.  I do face to face, and when I talk to someone I want their attention and respect.  I give it, I expect it.
Yes, I do use a cell phone...for it's intended purpose...a phone.  But when I get home at the end of the day, I shut it off and toss it on my bookcase. 
Personally, I would rather interact with the people in my life, not someone I have never met overseas!


  1. Ah, my friend...

    And who, exactly, GAVE those lovely children their said Satanic devices? Once again, in the interest of preserving your sanity, I do hereby TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to rid your house and all lives concerned of all cellphones, "smart" phones (the most misnamed device on earth), stupid little computers and video games for everyone, all manner of personal music boxes and everything else that is in the way. Here is what you are allowed: One land line telephone at the shop. One land line telephone at home. One laptop for YOU to maintain your business and blog. One TV at home. No cable. Get an antenna. One radio, AM and FM.

    Like I said: I triple dog dare you.

    1. Ah, yes. We did that back at the beginning of the school year. Here's the problem, consistency. I was consistent for a few weeks, but so were they. Consistently whiney, irritable, and sneaky. After awhile, in the interest of my sanity, I just stopped monitoring them, and the infernal devices slowly crept back in. Yes, bad parenting in my part, but as with so much else I need contend with the annoyance of these things is only a blip on the radar MOST of the time!

  2. Ah, but thou doest forget The Golden Rule: "The one with the gold makes the rules." And that would be you. You gotta stop funding their techno addiction. Those toys don't last forever, and once they break, hey, make 'em gone.

    Or pitch 'em while the sleep.

    Says the guy with no kids.