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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Wonders of Nature or Witnessing Natural Defensive Systems 101

Okay, yes, I am easily amused!
Last night around ten pm, during our now nightly ritual of curling up on the couch and running through episodes of "Lost", we were interrupted by the plaintive whines of Suzanne, prancing before the front door, in the canine variation of the "pee,pee dance".  With a mild groan, I hauled my carcass of the couch, and proceeded to the door.  Normally Suzanne will not exit an open door without first, dutifully, awaiting her leash.  However this time, as soon as I opened the door she darted out and deftly executed a rapid 90 degree course correction around the side of the house.  For a moment I thought for sure the neighbors would, once again, be treated to the site of me jaunting through the block, in my skivvies, irritatingly calling out Suzanne's name.  But as I huffed around the corner of the house, fully expecting to see nothing, Suzanne was eagerly sniffing about something n the grass in the middle of our side yard.  It didn't take but a second to realize she had something pinned, so I ordered her off and approached what turned out to be a dead possum.  Obediently, she came to my side, the whole time her curious eyes and sniffer going at rapid speed, and I felt a moment of sorrow for the poor creature, hoping dearly Suzanne was not the cause of it's demise.  Then, while examining this sprawled creature, bent in half, partially on it's back, legs out stretched in rigor mortis, mouth flailed open, the skin on it's face stretched into a hideous open mouthed death mask, I couldn't help but wonder "how in the hell did it die here?"  With no clear answer,  I had to contend myself with the conclusion it must have been hit by a car and merely crawled into the yard to gasp it's last breath.  Pulling Suzanne's attention away, and to finish her business, we went about 20 feet away to the small tree in our front yard, while I waited for her to sniff out the perfect spot.  A scant few seconds later, almost at the same time, I became aware of the slightest of moments in my peripheral vision behind me, and Suzanne's ears perked up in rapt curiosity, as she dashed back towards the unfortunate possum.  As I turned to go after her, I realized the possum was gone!  Suzzane's eye's being more adept at the dark then mine, found it in seconds.  It was now ten feet away, partially clinging to the wheel of one of the "art bikes" we have leaning against the house, one little furred hand, clinging desperately to a spoke, the remainder of it's body in that same pathetic, grotesque contorted display, head lolling back, upside down, tongue out, gaunt, stretched face.  Possum's really DO play possum!!  At this point, Angi and the boys had come out to investigate what had had me all riled up with excitement, and we all watched, quietly as the creature slowly lifted his head up, cautiously looking to see if everything was safe, then meandered off to the tree line behind the house.  AWESOME!!! 
Like I said, easily amused!
Yesterday, we were a whirlwind of activity!  Well, in the sense that we had a great deal of time to clean!  ARRGH!!  The dog groomer next door to us had done some spring cleaning of their own and rolled out a variety of really nice Rubbermaid storage shelves and totes and such, and the son came in to ask if we wanted any of it.  FREE!?  Yea, we do free, even if we have no place for it, we'll take FREE! This inspired me too, yet again, rearrange the store room and behind the counter, now having a central location to divide the shop tools, from all my old construction tools and office supplies!  YAY!  I have nigh on empty drawers!!  WHOOPIE! 
Like I said; easily amused! 
Oh Heaven's...this is PRECIOUS!  I gotta tell you this story!  Just had to pause to endure another SNAFU conversation with our credit card processors who apparently are incapable of communicating with our bank to resolve issues between the two that really have NOTHING to do with us!  Seems the bank kicked back one of their "fee's" for the third time in the last three months.  Instead of calling the BANK to find out what the bloody problem was, they assume I know the intricate inner workings of this fine financial institution, and are adept at navigating the  bureaucracy and technical minutia to come to a satisfying resolution!  YEA...right!  I have issues using my cell phone!  ANYWHO, after ten minutes of failing to convince them that I was sorely inadequate to the task, I reluctantly agreed to accept the E-mail of info they had and attempt to fix things.  But HERE'S the funny part, that exemplifies the pathetically sad state of our public education system: after spelling out my e-mail address, the phone jokey read it back to me, in military fashion, by reciting words to identify the letters. IE: "M" as in Mary, "B" as in Boy and "O" as in apple!?  Hunh!?!  No mam, I said "O".  (slightly annoyed, she retorted) "That's what I said "O" as in APPLE!"
No folks.... I am, sadly, SOOOOO not kidding!
I wonder if I'll get the email?
As promised, I did, in fact pop in the newly acquired copy of "Barbarella" just to be able to admit I had, in fact, seen it.  My reaction?  How in the HELL did Jane Fonda EVER find work again, after THAT monstrosity!   WOW!  There's Bad, then several steps up that ladder, teetering at the very top rung, three past the "Do Not Step Above This Line" Barbarella!   Obviously after several hit's of acid, the writer sat in the Mojave desert, pulled out a pack of rolling papers, and jotted down this script!  He had some real latent sexual issues as well!  WOW!  There are dog's, then there is this "frothing at the mouth" Bowzer pinning you into the corner of a really dank, smelly alley way! 
Inexplicably, this film got made, more than likely due to the then fashionable "psychedelic, all we need is love" subset that infiltrated America in the latter half of the Sixties.  You pretty much get the point of just where the directors head was at, when in the opening title sequence, Jane Fonda is doing an anti-gravity, strip tease out of her ersatz, sliver foil, fish bowl head space suit,  too the "trippy" theme song.  Yes, for the sake of nothing more than a masochistic, sick fascination, I (partially) watched the entirety of the film.  The only two,  redeeming qualities I found in the whole ordeal, are: discovering the origins of the popular 80's bands name, "Duran Duran" and the similar use of the name of the planet Kahn's crew in Star Trek 2 were stranded on "Alpha Ceti" (although, Roddenberry's creation was "Ceti Alpha")  Other than that...should you make a similar attempt, may I suggest a strong sedative!
Other than that, we did do one overhaul and sent the Cannondale road bike to a new home, so at least the day wasn't a total wash!
ALL RIGHT!  With that, I best git a going and try and get something done!

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