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Friday, March 2, 2012

A New Direction For Civil Service!

I have had another epiphany!
"Oh Ho!!  Please tell us!"  you say?  With pleasure!
Whilst sitting in limbo awaiting my sons release (having to go in for his appointed arraignment today at 7.30, leaving at 6.  Yes I KNOW their are folks who do it every day....but i don't.  'Nuff said) it struck me that I realized how cities, states...countries even could make the necessary yet banal, sometimes downright infuriating experience of performing these civil tasks easier perhaps even enjoyable for the average citizen.
Think one word...
Naps.
Yes Folks, as revolutionary.... perhaps even anarchic a concept this may seem, please shelve your shock!   Stay your admonishment.  Still your rebuke of heresy and  hear me out!  I beseech you!!
(sorry...took a butt load of overkill  this morning)
Take an ethereal walk with me.  Let go your corporeal being and imagine....
You find yourself burden with the unavoidable task of renewing a licence.  Or perhaps having to take a trip to the Social Security Office.  Before the implementation of my splendid concept it would have been a foreboding journey, but now?  A placid engagement.
Walking into whichever state or city orifice (WHOOPS!  Sorry EDIFICE is what I meant to say!) You are met by "Greeters"  they politely in a sing song voice inquire which department you are there to visit.  Once established these matronly employees, dressed comfortably in spring patterned Moo-Moo's, or a house frock trimmed with a single strand of pearls, accompanied by a starched white apron hand you a square plastic chip.  It measures 4 to 5 inches square, color coded to match the department you await, along with a number.  The top has a single perforation.  She then inquires if you'd prefer the lounge (fully equipped with barker lounges, La-Z-Boys,  multi channel Flat screen TV's, a full DVD Library, a lavishly stocked Coffee bar, with a sumptuous selection of pastries and a full staff of Messuse (whats the plural for Masseuse? Masseuses?  Masseusei?) OR you may take advantage of the "Nap" rooms.
These secluded rooms lining the periphery of the main office house several "semi- private" beds.  Memory foam mattresses, with simple higher end hotel grade sheets, pillows (memory foam of course) and blankets.  Soft classical music or perhaps "Nature Sounds" are piped through your private speaker, set at a low volume.  Once you've settled in, your guide closes the curtain partition and hangs your number chip from the curtain rail.  Once your number is reached one of the matriarchal ladies quietly enters the nap room, softly pulls back the curtain and gently nudges you softly calling your name.  Perhaps the more heavy sleepers will require a parting of the loose hair and a slight kiss to the forehead.  Once awoke, she leads you to your appointment.  And as you finish your business, content and relaxed you are once more greeted on your way out where they hand you a brown bag lunch, a hug and a kiss on the forehead, a tussle of the hair and a hearty "Have a NICE day dear!  Come again!"
Would that be to much to ask?  I mean I don't see ANY reason why we couldn't allocate the funds to support this concept?  And think of all the retiree's who would benefit, financially for these job opportunities.  I mean tips alone!  It opens up a whole new industry for hotel workers!  Seriously...Write your congressman and champion this initiative~!
ALL RIGHT!
I'll Stop.
But like they say "if you can't find the humor in it...It'll make you go postal!"

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