Parenting....AMERICAN STYLE!

SO OK, I've heard the joke's "today's concept of parenting begins and ends with the checkbook" and the like.  Sadly, like all good humor it is a razor's edge of truth who's effect is not felt until reflection.  Cutting deep to the heart.
OK, enough metaphors.
I'll be the first to admit I don't know EVERYTHING about parenting.  To enter into my house is to enter a table read for "Malcolm in the Middle" NOT "Father Knows Best", so short of witnessing any abuse, I keep my nose out of other folks parenting (doesn't keep me from COMMENTING though!)
I've got a couple of recent occurrences that found there way into our lives I just have to poke fun at!
When my wife and I first started breeding we had some progressive and rather naive concepts of how we would raise our children, honesty being a key factor.  Of course over the years any approach has been tailored to each child, but being up front with them still was paramount.  This extended to being honest to ourselves about them!  A factor brought into sharp focus the first time one of them got in trouble at school.  Now all kids do stupid stuff, and things they shouldn't but it's the parents job to KNOW the shortcomings of their children and make attempts to rectify them.  A sure fire way of NOT accomplishing this is to deny their own child's culpability in ANY matter.
We'd been called into our first child's 1st grade glass (yep, started that early) She  had a propensity for being stubborn and self absorbed and was not interested in listening to the teacher.  Behavior we witnessed daily at home.  As we sat down with the teacher she seemed a tad meek and somewhat intimidated as she outlined our daughters issues, all the while interjecting almost apologetic observations as to what a bright girl she was and how much of a joy she was to have in the glass otherwise, and how helpful she could be....blah, blah, blah.  After she laid out her list of concerns she sat timidly, almost bracing for some expected tirade from us.  Instead  I admitted that we indeed had the same problems and we were behind her in any way she saw fit to help rectify the situation and any form of discipline she deemed appropriate, we would support and reinforce at home.  She expelled a heavy sigh as her taught shoulders relaxed and a look of bewilderment crept over her face and she stammered "really?"
 It was her epirience that MOST parents reaction to problems with their children range from denial to outright hostility.  Parents accusing the teachers of "not doing their jobs" or being "racist crackers" or what have you, she had not been prepared for our willingness to except our own child's shortcomings.  Question is,  who are we serving when we fail to except our children may not be the little angels we imagine they are.  Children are NOT born innocent.  For all intense and purpose, void of any input save what we show them they are feral creatures.  They are only civilized through studying their surroundings.  Their sole thought is of themselves and what THEY desire.  Compassion, tenderness, love, sharing etc these are LEARNED behaviors. 
It's with this long winded introduction I submit to you, gentle reader  the following, and lets think on what THESE children are learning!
Three weeks back we'd "rented" a bike to some folks visiting friends.  The mothers young pre-teen picked out an old school Mongoose Expert after test riding a Mosh BMX. ( Now, I should have had trepidation after watching him test drive the first bike for as soon as he got it in the parking lot he was doing bunny hops and a variety of other stunts).  About a week later they were back in to have it repaired.  At this point the family friend had brought the bike in with the concern that the rear wheel was rubbing the frame.  At close inspection we discover the rear axle had been bent.  As the rear end had pegs  both sides of the axle were bent just outside the frame mount, we knew he'd landed HARD a few times while pegging.  He of course denied this and stated "they just bent"
oy.
THANKFULLY, the local woman knew that to be false, and willingly paid for the repair.  Honestly, I would have made the kid pay for it, BUT....
Well, on Monday they brought the bike back in to return for their deposit.  I made a cursory inspection (as any damage is taken from the deposit) but it didn't take much scrutiny to notice this...

I know the pic may not do it justice but lets just say that a wheel is supposes to be fully ROUND!  It DOES NOT come with a flat spot for easy parking!  It came as no surprise however when the Mother was put off by the fact that she would have to pay for a replacement wheel.  Now I give her full credit for remaining pleasant, calm and diplomatic but she began to express dissatisfaction with the bike as they already had to fix one problem and now this.  To her recollection he'd only rode the bike a "few" times and NEVER harshly.  The son of course was there and repeated the assertion that he had done no stunts, no jumps and gave the impression that he only rode it ever so slowly across a blanketing of downy feathers.  I could only continue to reiterate the fact that wheels don't just "bend" like that.  It requires force, and a great deal at that.  Sure they will eventually go out of true, but not dent.  Well, after the third round of debates the mothers friend, the local gal came in and after hearing the back and forth for a few minutes spoke up stating that, yes indeed he had been doing hops on the front wheels, took several jumps and hard landings and hit a few to many curbs.
hmmmm?
The Mothers only response was in effect, "Aren't they built for that?"
oy.
Now on to the second gripe, and this has to do with mothers daughters.  I am a bit of a history buff and throughout the last century many women have been held in high esteem as role models.  From philosophers, to diplomats, scientist, doctors, suffragettes and even hippies but apparently the ones inspiring some of today's young women are porn stars.
If you think my opinion sexist just look at your own high schools and see how these girls dress nowadays!  I mean, even my own teenage son thinks it's disgusting!  Half shirts, plunging necklines, shorts exposing bottoms?  It's fine if an adult woman wishes to dress however she deems appropriate, I can avert my eyes but there is just something wrong about a mother taking her daughter clothes shopping and suggesting a corset would make a nice top to go with her skirt!  Now this is not a cute anecdote but what was witnessed by my wife this morning while school shopping!  Apparently the young girl, possibly no older then 14 was already sporty a green pair of short shorts trying really hard to do an impression of dental floss! I mean LORD people!  What career are you hoping she pursues?   The only thing I can say is I hope you like  dry heat 'cause Las Vegas is the only place I know that that line of work is LEGAL!  Or maybe it's starring in the kinda movies where acting ability is optional!  No, I'm not suggesting berkas and that women not be allowed to drive but just to show that you daughters contribution's to society extends beyond that of her flesh.  At what point did we loose the battle and make the objectifying of young women not only justifiable but a prerequisite?  At what point did the majority of parents give up.  All I know is the garment industry must be in hog heaven as they now can charge a premium for WAY less fabric! 
Look, it's up to each and every one of us to decide what's best for our OWN children, but I say these things as a warning.  Don't be afraid to tell your children "No".  To teach them decency and to care, not only about themselves but what they do that effects others.  I fear for a generation that's sole motivation is one of self gratification at the cost of all else, with no sense of propriety or responsibility.