MONSTER BASH!!!

Hearkening back to yesteryear Saturday mornings were the stuff of dreams for pre-adolescent children everywhere!  Long before the advent of Cartoon Network and the like a child's dose of animated fun came in the guise of three competing networks running there own brand of product endorsements "Saturday Morning Cartoons!"   During the school week you could however catch some of the classics on your local UHF channels (remember UHF?)  In my neck of the New England woods, coming out of Boston was channel 56.  They were famous for one other long standing Saturday television tradition and that was "CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE"!!
Mind you, at times you'd have to sit through some mind numbingly BAD early American made "horror" films (although by today's standards you see scarier stuff on "Bill and Mandy" or "Courage the Cowardly Dog"!) But it was when they RE-Ran the classic Japanese Monster flicks that you entered into joyous Styrofoam Heaven!  The list abounds but suffice to say these Kaiju (literally translate to "Strange Creature" or "nameless actor with zipper up back") were the sole reason this program was invented!  Eye candy for the young and as one grew older excellent fodder for add libed living room dubbing!  A precursor to the genius of Joe/Joel and the Bot's on the Satellite of Love! (Google MST3K).  SO it is with a great deal of affection that I graciously thank Guillermo del Toro for there 21st Century Resurrection!
Elijah and I have been dying to see this flick since we first caught wind of it last year.  But, as times are a little thin right now I couldn't justify the expense of the excursion.  Well, much to his credit (and with a great deal of pride and appreciation from me) he scored some cash for a baby sitting gig yesterday and the first thing he thought to do with it was treat me to a viewing. 
Wow! 
So with the blessing of my lovely wife he and I ventured out last night to fill our eyes to the brim with candy!
We were NOT disappointed!
(spoiler alerts!)
(although it's been out for almost a month so I'm sure those intent on seeing it probably already have)
I have to preface this with acknowledgement of Guillermo's assertion that this film was NOT in homage of the classic creatures.  That being said...
it really was.
No clearer proof could be given then the first Kaiju you see has a head remarkably similar to that of Guiron (a nemesis of the giant turtle Gamera).
But I'm getting ahead of myself...
In the not to distant future a fissure appears in the Pacific ocean.  Turns out its a trans-dimensional rift.  Originally thought to have been a naturally occurring phenomenon it turns out the creatures spilling forth at surprisingly predictable intervals are actually genetically engineered by an alien race hell bent on eradicating humans then swarming in to pilfer our natural resources (shades of Independence day) These revelations are provided by two quirky scientists, Newton (Charlie Day), a hyper active Fanboy "Kaiju Groupie" sporting them in a multitude of body art depictions and Hermann (Burn Gorman) a fastidious mathematician.   Humanity quickly realizes that conventional weaponry while eventually effective, proves to costly in volume and human life.  In a unilateral effort all nations of the world develop the Jaegers (German translation, "Hunter") Giant (and I mean SKYSCRAPER giant) Robots.  Piloted through a neuro-link requiring two or more pilots sharing a common mind, these jockeys reach rock star status and a little tilt of the hat to capitalism as "Monster Mania" sweeps the globe from Action figures to bed sheets!  Even the trade in Kaiju remains is booming!  Similar to the harvesting of Rhino horn and testicles, all the workings of these creatures catch a hefty sum, treatment for all that ails you!  Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Sons of Anarchy)  does a fun job as king scavenger Hannibal Chau (named after his favorite literary character and Chinese restaurant)
It quickly becomes apparent that the attacks are becoming more frequent and the Monsters bigger and more deadly.  The bureaucracy, in it's unsurprising wisdom, declares they will stop the funding for the Jaeger project and instead rely on a massive wall built to keep the critters out (proven ineffective as one critter burst into Sydney in about an hour).  With only four Jaegers left they call on a washed up pilot, Raliegh (Charlie Hunnam, "Son's of Anarchy") who had lost his brother and co pilot 5 years earlier and was now working on "The Wall") to take control of the US robot "Gipsy Danger" in a last ditch effort to destroy the rift. 
Despite his assertion that he wished to create something original and fresh, and was in fact NOT drawing from the genre, his love for it is apparent in much of the film.  Granted, the storyline (what little there is) is much more coherent then the traditional and cliché "Bad Monster shows up, destroys city (surprising how quickly they can rebuild Tokyo) then screwy idea from bland scientists drives off or destroys creature" Capped with a brief morality tale of the "ignorance of man" or some such.   No, the whole inter dimensional alien Conquistadors at least lent an explanation as to why the critters were attacking.  A happy inclusion were several Sci Fi references including "Star Wars" "Blade Runner" and Alien (no surprise one character was named Newt).  The creatures were a cross between classic Kaiju and H.P Lovecraft, Cthulhu inspired monsters (hence the writhing tentacles) with a dash of drift cars thrown in (check out the neon graphics on their hides).  The battles are epic with a healthy dose of the prerequisite destruction.  I give Mr. del Toro much credit as the Collateral Damage, while most assuredly was present was not depicted.  It was all about the monsters and the robots, no need to see broken bodies, and Rodan popping commuters like popcorn shrimp. (speaking of Rodan...yea, he was pretty much there as well)
 I have one gripe though, minor as it is.  Whether it was cause he wanted to show off the superior post production CGI or is just a fan of close up's I don't know, but there were not enough pull backs for me.  When the Jaegers go into battle they are escorted and flanked by a squadron of helicopters hanging on the periphery lending visual support.  It would have had more of an impact to have more views from there, depicting the swath of destruction.  Especially in battles between multiple combatants.  At times the screen is filled with an intense whirlwind of action so close it could be overwhelming. 
There was some trepidation that the market for this film would be narrow.  Costing 200 mil to produce (not including marketing cost) not featuring any a-list actors, and courting a relatively small fan base margin it opened with a handicap.  Worldwide, it's numbers topped 290 mil, seemingly not even to the break even point.  It played very well in China dominating the number one spot, but was lukewarm in the states.  Is there potential for sequel?  Well, according to its overwhelming international dominance the answers seems to be a go.  We'll have to wait and see!  But there is hope for the continuation of the giant monster epics as the next installment of Godzilla breaks in 2014!
Oh..yea.  I did some work yesterday as well.  Check out the pic below!

GORGEOUS FUJI FOLDING BIKE!!
ONLY $120.00!!!