NO! JOE!

It's good to have friends! We send a Kudos to Debbie's friend for helping her get back on her ride after a long absence.  She had a sweet Trek cruiser in need of some loving and her buddy John stepped up to the plate and foot the bill to get her back up and running.  A seat, some tires, tubes, some tweaking and grease later, she's riding once more!  Also, sold the Mongoose XR-200 to a very understanding dad, looking to find something sturdy for his 13 year old son who unfortunately had his old one stolen.  Hope this one suits him, sir!  Also thanks to all the curiosity seekers and looky loo's coming all the way to check us out.  Appreciate the visits!
Elijah has learned the hard way the necessity of CLEAR communication!  His paycheck (having been held the prerequisite two weeks for taxes) was expected to be direct deposited into his bank account (the one I had to fund and Momma had to run around for half a day to make sure was procured)  Friday.  He actually stayed up until Midnight to see it in his account.  Turns out it was not.  My first fear was "another worker SCREWED by a disreputable contractor" (as I have been on the receiving end of MORE then once) but that fear was allayed.  No, he called their offices on Friday (after I did a web search for their phone number because he never bothered to write it down) and it turns out when he read them his bank account and routing number he got some numbers switched around.  They spotted the error but as payroll isn't in on Friday they can't rectify the situation until Monday.  I will give them credit, though.  The President of the company called after the secretary to apologize to Elijah personally for the oversight, and to assure him it would be taken care of first thing Monday.  Perhaps it's not to bad a thing, as it gives Elijah a couple more days without having to spend all his money.  He has a laundry list of things he "NEEDS" but I'm not sure he realizes just how little money $500.00 is.
Last night of course, was Family Movie Night, sans the big kids.  Yes, in a RARE fit of charity Angela allowed Kaleb and Elijah a night out....by themselves....alone.....without supervision!  Yes, I checked her for a fever and/or mental collapse when I got home.  But, being the fair Mom she is, as Kaleb has been giving her no problems the last couple of weeks and his grades are good she acquiesced as a reward.  Elijah was there for two reasons.  One; she needed a break from his recent attitude of "My $#!t don't stink" and two: keeping Kaleb out of trouble.  To their credit they returned at the pre determined time with a few minutes to spare.
So last night the movie choice's were "Daddy, I'm A Zombie" and "G.I. Joe: Retaliation".  The first one isn't what you think.  A Burtonesque animated flick about a Goth outcast thirteen year old and her odd Mortician father.  She hates her life, hates her father and hates the fact that everyone hates her (OK...so far just about EVERY thirteen year old girl) and running away into the woods crying after another trouncing by bullies, wishes she were dead.  In response a lightning bolt strikes a tree, splits it in half and crushes her.  Wish granted.  From there it just got more surreal, nonsensical and LAME!  Quickly the consensus amongst all those in attendance (Rozy the only hold out) was to just shut it off.  Which we did.  Then plugged in G.I Joe, which as it turns out, wasn't all that much better!
So here goes the panning of this sequel, with all SPOILER ALERTS in place!
When I sat down to watch the original I was sure I was going to think it lame given the premise but turned out enjoying it.  Apparently the original release made enough money, and left enough unanswered question's as to warrant a return.  It did not warrant this disappointment! 
In the original it was CLEARLY established that G.I Joe was, in fact, an INTERNATIONAL group of top soldiers enlisted and trained to be the final response team if nations armed forces failed.  They bunked and trained at an ultra high tech base in the desert of Egypt ready to respond anywhere in the world when needed.  Now mind you, there were A LOT of Joe's there! The original film went to great lengths to establish the characters using some well known actors.  None of them are present in the second film except Tatum Channing's "Duke" (we'll get to him shortly) and  Snake Eye's and NO reason is given as to why theses dedicated, committed soldiers are nowhere to be found (one has to assume film budget played a key part)   Also, there's Cobra.  The super baddies with a clear objective in mind, resulting in the positioning of the Master of Disguise, Zartan in place of the President of the United States.  Now, the elite corps of super soldiers appear to be nothing more then a small "Black ops" force, comprised solely of US Soldiers answering directly to the President.  Not to mention, whereas once their existence was unknown to the general population, they are now the subject of much newsroom chatter.  Their entire numbers now appear to be a paltry 30 or so, with no where near the degree of high tech gadgetry they originally had.
After the assassination of the Pakistani President the Joe's are dispatched to secure a bushel of Nuclear war heads within Pakistan.  After a flawless incursion into their military stockpile they secure the warheads and escape to the dessert where they await extraction. 
What?
All Joe's accounted for, no fatalities, they sit in a dune, in unfriendly territory after just having invaded a MILITARY BASE, and they are awaiting extraction? 
Look, I'm no military strategist, but wouldn't you think that their ride home...WITH THE NUKES would be a wee bit more timely?  NAH!  They're sitting at a beach party, cutting up having brews (and I think a bar-b-que) while Duke and Roadblock have cute witty banter back and forth while having a target shooting contest!?  Did they not understand the term covert?!
After some time the choppers roll in...and start firing.  Now this once elite force is decimated thoroughly because they left themselves in the open, unguarded with the lights on.  And to top it off, Duke bites it!  Yep.  First 15 minuets of the film and the lead hero gets killed.
Well, from that point forward the US President (remember...Zartan in disguise) claims that it was Snake Eye's that killed the Pakistani President so Joe could get hold of their nukes.  So he dispatched HIS elite fighting force "Cobra" to eliminate them.
OY!
After the battle there are only three Joe's left, all of which weren't even IN the first film Roadblock (the Roc), Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki).  This is Dwayne Johnson's film.  The character of Flint is more cardboard then the original blister packs that held the GI Joe action figures of yore!  Lady Jaye has only slightly more presence, but is used primarily for sex appeal.  But at LEAST they gave her a 90 second back story to establish her character.  Of course there is Snake Eye's (who wasn't in the dessert) and he's got a new sidekick, Jinx.  Now outlawed the remaining Joe's seek to figure out who set them up.  A deduction that takes all of about two minuets and a laptop.  They then solicit the assistance of the original Joe, Joe "Colt" Colton played by Bruce Willis.  And I am VERY generous with the term "Played".  I am  big fan of Bruce Willis (even considering his ongoing feud with another fave, Kevin Smith) but lately he has stated that he is done doing "Action" films.  Heh.  I can see that.  He has a couple cute lines, but for the most part he just kind of meanders through his part, giving little to NO real presence.  Very stale and ineffectual. 
The only really entertaining part is how Zartan/POTUS tricks all other nuclear nations into eliminating their nuclear stockpiles.  (I won't ruin that one for you).  Of course their is the incredibly implausible fact that 5 Joe's, 1 turncoat (Storm Shadow) and a handful of retired military can take down the combined might of Cobra AND the US military, but in true "Good Guy Wins" fashion they do!   But only with the help of the tried and true "Self Destruct" button that every idiot bad guy seems to think is necessary to install on his super-duper weapon of mass destruction!
SERIOUSLY!  Has that EVER made sense?!  Your a bad guy hell bent on taking over OR destroying the world.  WHY would you install a self destruct button?  What?  You think it necessary to install a fail safe, just in case at the last moment, at  the culmination of years of planning, resource building, construction of a monumental device you may get cold feet?!  So best blow it up?
SHEESH!
Of course, except for Zartan and Firefly all the other baddies get away (yea, there super soldiers but their not good enough to peck off Cobra Commander as he's hanging out a chopper a mere 20 yards away!)
All in all, as an action flick, it had some good snippets.  If anything else it would have been mildly fun to watch, but as a sequel it fell far short of the mark and for that they need to let the franchise be finished.
SO, now it's off to the races!  Gonna get back at it and hope to see many of you today!