Da,Da,,,,DAH DUM....MOVIE TIME!!!

Surprisingly it has been a while since I did one of my famous "Movie Re-views"!  Well, not for lack of trying.  Just haven't seen much worth crooning about.  So it was with tentative trepidation that while picking through the Red Box last night Rozy suggested we watch "The Hobbit".
Now first, two things.  First is, If you haven't seen it there are a few "SPOILER ALERTS" here, right up to and including the ending, so if you haven't seen it, you may want to skip over the body of this particular rant.  Second, I am probably one of the few Sci-Fi/Fantasy fans who wasn't all that impressed with the "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy.  Yes, yes I know, sacrilegious to say.  Now don't get me wrong, Visually it was stunning! A real genuine eye-candy worthy of the big screen, but the story it self just seemed rather to drag.  Parts of it were not unlike the sixth installment of "Harry Potter: The Long And Awkward Pause".  And I pride myself in the ability to remember films in their entirety, but I'll be damned if I could pick out which one I'm watching at any given time!  Angi pulled that on me once.  She enjoys them and we sat down to watch the trilogy one weekend and we were half way through the third one (which she purposefully put in second just to throw me off)  when I was like "Wait a minute!  Aren't we missing something!" But it was OK because I nodded off soon after.  Not unlike the incessant need I have to sleep if forced to watch "Gone With The Wind"! 
But I digress.  I had not paid any attention to any of the promotion of this particular film (the true blessing of having NO advertisement laden viewing choices) as I had heard the Hobbit would be ANOTHER trilogy!  I mean, the original book was only 297 pages (320 if you're reading the soft cover) and they're gonna stretch it to three, three hour movies?!  OH LORD!  MORE WALKING!!!!! Don't misunderstand me, New Zealand is some pretty country but if I want to take a walking tour I'll book a flight!  So I passed originally.  But it was when I looked at Rozy's recommendation that I noticed who was playing the lead role! Martin Freeman!!  And Ooooo was I SOLD!  For those of you not familiar with this gent, he co-starred in one of my more recent fixations, the UK's "Sherlock" on BBC (a MUST check out on Netflix!) playing the role of Watson along side the absolutely BRILLIANT Benedick Cumberbatch as Sherlock (to be seen SOON (*shudder with anticipation*) in Star Trek 2!) The man has an understated genius for the subtle straight man who's emotions are betrayed with slight facial expressions and the occasional sardonic glint!  I feel no shame to admit I was WAY wrong on my preconceptions of this film!  It is hands down FAR better then the previous trilogy!  Seamlessly blending the beginning of this movie with that of the first of "Lord's" we find the elder Bilbo in preparations with Frodo for his party that began the first!  Told in a "Once upon a Time" fashion, the Elder sits down to put on paper his "adventures" from 60 years past for young Frodo.  I really appreciate that to keep the continuity some of the original cast return to reprise their roles (granted they were probably contractually obliged to do so) as it lent to the authenticity and progression of the film. Minimal walking (and horse back) later we get to the meat of the film, and it's an eye popping roller coaster that keeps you breathing laboriously!  Even the slower paced moments when Bilbo plummets into a chasm and ends up meeting Golom for the first time is not weighty enough to slow down the momentum as the exchange between the two, although verbal is properly laced with tension.  And I am a sucker for the schizophrenic little CGI guy!  Truly the best actor in the first trilogy, he really shines here!  Now I only have a couple issues with the film though. They are trivial at best but worth mention.  First is the individual interpretations of Bilbo by the respective actors.  Martins younger Bilbo seems somewhat more relaxed, and thoughtful while Ian Holms older Hobbit seems more befuddled and edgy.  Granted some slack can be granted for age and the ill effects of "the Ring" but it still seems a little odd he showed more maturity at a younger age.
Second was sacrificing common sense for visual impact.  The whole "adventure" is based on a trek to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug.  During their Trek they end up reluctantly getting help from the elves to read a map that will show them a "secret entrance" to their kingdom.  Apparently because only the elves can read ancient Dwarfish(?) Anyway....we'll suspend that.  They end up showing up on JUST THE RIGHT DAY in order to read hidden clues written on the parchment in moon script.  See, the general gist is, that this magic script can ONLY be read by the light of the moon when it is in precisely the same phase as on the night it was originally written. WOW!  What a coincidence!  And to top it off, they have to be in exactly the right spot on Lonely Mountain on the start of Dwarf summer when the sun and moon share the sky at the same time to be shown where to stick the magic key.  Now Dwarf Summer is just around the corner and they gotta hustle to get there in time.  SO started walking!  Now admittedly, their walk is a HELL of allot more exciting then the other flicks.  Encountering two Stone Giants (literally Mountains coming to life and slugging it out "Rock-em-sock-em Robot" style!) an INTENSE goblin chase scene, coinciding with the aforementioned Golom/Bilbo bout, then when just achieving freedom and reuniting outside the Goblin caves, they get cornered by a viscous pack of Orcs, who'd been hunting them the whole flick literally at the cliff's edge.  Gandalf, precariously perched tells a butterfly to go get help and buys them time lobbing fiery pine cones at the Orcs and their vicious pooches.  Eventually the whole thing starts to teeter over the edge, and of course at the Spielbergian moment that you think they're gonna go over the edge some REALLY big birds show up and save the day, whisking away our heroes in majestic feathery flight.
Now here's the problem!  And remember, in their quest time is of the essence.  These huge birds fly them away to safety, the visuals are stunning as the fly off into the rising sun and after an indeterminate amount of time they perch our heroes atop what appears to be "one headache of a climb down" peak.  After they exchange words of congratulations and  "male bondage"  moments they and the camera turn to focus on a mountain peak WAY, WAY, WAY off in the distance and lo and behold stands Lonely Mountain! Cut.  Print.
Hold ON!  What the....?  It's like hitchhiking and getting a ride from Massachusetts to Clearwater but you decide to get out in Georgia so you can "stretch your legs"!  Seriously, I would have patted that eagle and promised him a super-sized piece of mullet if he took me the whole way! I understand the rationale as they explain earlier in the film that the mountain creatures of that area are moving further south, and you assume it's because of the Dragon, but they could have stated that.  Like Bilbo says "hey, how 'bout a little closer?" and Gandalf responds "this is as close as they will go to the castle"  At least that would give some credence.  And  granted, would have totally negated the two multi-million dollar sequels, but would have been more realistic! 
BUT, that all aside the last remaining comment I have to make is thank God Elijah is so anal about watching a flick all the way to the end, credits and all I would have missed a name in the actor credits of someone you don't even SEE in this flick.  Well, you see his silhouette obviously setting up the sequels as the main antagonist, the Necromancer!  I had to do a verbal "WHOA" and double take via rewind!  The name was Benedict Cumberbatch!!!!  Yes, Sherlock himself is playing the bad guy!  So I will DEFINITELY be looking for the sequel!!
Wow.  I've really outdone my talking time today! So I'd best get to like....work...or something!
See ya soon!