Treading Lightly

Well, not exactly my strongest character strength, but I'll give it a shot.
Ouch.  Bad choice of words there.
Current events are not my usual subject matter, but from time to time I feel I want to voice my opinion, throw my two cents in as it were.  Today it's about the atrocity that occurred in Ohio.  Far to frequently have we heard of the apparent "random" killing sprees occurring in our nations schools.  now whether this is a result of media influences, drugs, video games, teen angst or bad parenting is not my focus today.  No, what bothers me is the apparent lack of communication or "listening" that seems to be occurring.  Having not ever personally encountered such tragedy I can not speak from any authority on the matter and I'm sure in the aftermath of it all a lot of confusion must reign.  However, of what I've read the people in authority are not listening to those directly involved.  Parents interviewed say the victims and assailant were unfamiliar with each other.  The chief prosecutor say there was no bullying or drug relation, that in fact it was a random event brought on by an individual  "who's not well".
Adversely the students, an intended victim and witnesses tell another story.  The shooter was targeting the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend.  Apparently there was a LONG standing feud going on, reportedly well over a year. The new boyfriend reportedly made several threats to the assailant, and indulge in traditional taunts and bullying.  So much so that the assailant took to bodybuilding in an attempt to ward of the threats.  Now before I go any further rest assured I am not condoning the shooters methods or ideology, nor the results.  The fact that these children are dead, and that this individual felt himself  compelled  to commit these acts lends itself to my rationale.
When the shooting occurred the shooter targeted the new boyfriend, apparently the others just "got in the way".
So here's my query.  Why, with all these witnesses coming forward clearly aware of the escalating threat, was none of this noticed?  Did the school, or the parents intercede?  Were they aware even, that anything was wrong/  Yes, I am starkly aware of the fact that parents can't know or see everything, and God knows, with teachers and administers hands bound tightly behind their backs in matters of discipline, personal involvement etc (hell!  Guidance counsellors aren't even Guidance councillors anymore!  They just handle academics!) But why wasn't anyone listening then or NOW!? 
This whole thing is endemic of our nations current state of youth. 
I wish I could with full confidence point the finger of blame at one source but lets be honest we are all to blame.  From our government who has made an art form out of war.  Aggressive killing tactics meant to settle arguments.  We turn our back on diplomacy, negotiation and compromise in our quest for expansion.  Schools focus more on National test scores to secure future funding and bonuses then the welfare of the children who are their bread and butter.  Parents, consumed with ever increasing financial and personal  stresses have less and less time to spend with their children.  Media and manufacturers know this and produce blood and gore, ever evolving video games and movies because they know parents will dole out the cash to keep the kids occupied, and off mom and dad's back.  We allow food producers to utilized steroids and growth hormones and are ambivalent to the effects these things have on children entering puberty.  Have you noticed that boys are much more aggressive, and Mom, when you take little Suzy to Wall-Mart to buy her her unmentionables, ever wonder why a 13 year old is two sizes and three cups bigger then yours? 
Look, the list goes on and on and on, and in the end, we are left with no answers.  Angi and I, met with the problems of our 14 year old tried the home schooling thing last year, but the system was SO complicated even after 2 weeks we still couldn't navigate it.  Eventually having no choice had to send him back to public.
My point is, take the time to read your kids.  Remember how you felt at that age, the confusion, the fears, the awkwardness and get them to understand that YOU understand.  Opening that door allows them the confidence to come to you and open up.  And please know that problems we have learned as adults to cope with and  are not all that significant to a teenager seem insurmountable.  But above ALL ELSE, shut off the computer, put down the game controller and set the cell phone on vibrate...
AND LISTEN!